I ran through the sea of green and allowed the steady rhythm of my feet to flood my senses. I heard them, yet they did not exist to me. All I knew was sight and sound. The world in front of me and the symphony of footfall consumed my body. Nature took my soul. More accurately, nature asked for my soul and I complied. And once I gave my soul to nature, I was immersed in myself. And once I was immersed in myself, I turned my focus to the sky instead.
Sometimes, when you find yourself, you realize that you should’ve been looking for something else. I think it varies from person to person what that thing is, but the purpose is generally the same. At least, it is in my opinion. You see, when people say “I’m trying to find myself,” they don’t realize that this is the most futile effort ever exerted by all of humanity. Or maybe they do realize, but would rather not admit it. Either way, it’s useless trying to find yourself because you never lost yourself in the first place. You are every place you go. You are every thought that runs through your mind. You can’t lose something that’s always with you. It reminds me of those who spend hours searching for their glasses only to realize that they’ve been wearing them the entire time. My father falls victim to that particular scenario almost every single day. Its hilarity is more beautiful than anything else I have ever witnessed.
I believe that if a person feels he’s lost himself and experiences that itching, mind-bending desire to find whoever he thinks he once was, he is in actuality looking for his lost innocence. It comes in different forms for each person in the world, but it’s what we’ve all lost in some way or another. We’re scared to say what we’re actually searching for because our success in finding it seems so improbable. Can innocence be found once it’s been lost?
No matter how we say it or how it we may interpret it, we are all searching for the return to innocence. That in itself seems to put us on the right path.
